All Things But None

I guess I'm plain. I tried to come up with a design, and I don't think the look n' feel of this* template suits me well. I like it and then I don't. I like it cuz it sorta feels organic, but then I'm not all about that. I like the symbolism of the lotus, but then again, I'm not all about that either.

This isn't me but it's a part of me. As far as font goes, I like the system font Georgia, a serif for something different, but I don't think it fits. I don't even feel like writing cuz of it. Sometimes colors and shades can be so constricting! To me, I think black and white are the colors of all colors. So I'm going back to white. I miss it. I miss being simple. I miss the simpleness of white. I like the 'roomy-ness' of the space.

So pardon the dust. For the next couple of weekends, I'll be changing my template again. Back to basic. Back to me.

* If you're reading this now, well, it's been changed! *poof*

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Currently listening:
David Darling - Darkwood IV: Dawn

I saw Soulwax with 2 Many DJ's last September and they ROCKED. THE. HOUSE! [Actually they're the same peeps; one's a band, one DJs!] If you ever get a chance to see them, GO! I wasn't too familiar with earlier Soulwax's recordings, but Nite Versions is definitely something not to be missed. They're classified as Electro-Rock and I don't care what anyone says! The name Nite Versions was influenced by Duran Duran, and the concept of this particular remixed recording was by Human League's Love and Dancing. Remember that was spawned from their original recording Dare?

According to Dave [Hello Dave!!], they're actually playing at this year's Coachella, and Soulwax, Placebo, Rage Against The Machine, Air AND Willie Nelson will be playing the same night. ahaha!

When you got some time, check out the E-Talking video to learn your ABC's! Excuse Me?

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Currently listening:
Soulwax - NY Lipps [Extended]

Noah Kalina's Everyday has been up for a long time, Alec came across this piece awhile ago and brought it to my attention. He does that quite a bit in fact. He would call me over to his desk and show me what he'd found! :-)

Anyway, Noah's dedication is inspiring. I don't know if I could do it. I can't even remember to comb my hair everyday. Maybe it's one of those things that you just go on ahead and do it without saying a word, cuz putting it out there sometimes can be a hurdle in itself. There's a Flickr group called 365 Days out there, it's a start. A good friend of mine is doing it, along with her 5mo old baby! Too cute. heh!

I love the piece, I find it very emotional. Although it prolly has a lot to do with Carly's music. Maybe it's a combination of the two. I think it's a perfect accompaniment. I also went to Photo LA this weekend, 3rd year in a row. Wonderful pieces, and Loretta Lux is still one of my favourites. Us humans can produce such beautiful things.

So on my way home tonight, I thought to myself -- What about me? What can I do? What can Robert make that he can be proud of? And whenever I ask myself that very question, in the end, I always conclude that I do not know! People ask me what I'm good at, I can never give them a straight answer. I guess I'm still searching, and in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm just a machine. I go on doing the things that I know how and that I'm comfortable with. A living machine. Reminds me of a song by Yoko Ono, in which she chimes:

Ask a bird why he's flying so high. And he says, "Dunno, I'm just doin' it."

And so am I.

Haven't written in 5 months-long, my thoughts are sticky. Few weeks ago I thought I had so much to say, now that this blog is up, I think I'm having... hmm.. what's the equivalent to the term 'stage-fright', but as in writing?!?

I love this particular piece by Lunz... It's so soothing and calm. I was thinking whether to have the track on autoplay or not. It is now but am wondering if it's annoying to most? It prolly is. I'll turn it off soon enough. I'll need to find out how to hyperlink it to my radio like on v2.0 first. RadioBlog is a wonderful thing. This v3.0 is still in beta mode, if you love music as much as I do, you might want to check it out. Who needs one of those little-white-shinny-things anyway! heh!

I changed the 2nd post below to 'Untitled 0052', well, cuz that was where I left off. My last Untitled post was back from November 22nd, 2005. Seems like time just slips by while we're doing other things.

I think on my thoughts a lot. Mostly on neutral things. Life is a blessing. Last July was difficult. To part with Medina. I remember the night before she passed, I spent it alone with her. I slept a bit, but mostly hearing her death rattle... I have this picture as the wallpaper on my phone. I miss her. No one knows how much. Where do people go once they passed on? And where do we belong in all of this?

I wouldn't want to know though, it's just something I like to throw out in the air every now and then, and maybe someday hoping for something in return... It never does. Life is love and love is life, and that's all I need to know.

I wonder if it's bad luck to start the first post of the year with such a 'grim' entry title. But I was never superstitious. Course, certain years can be better than others I supposed. Last year my sister Medina passed away, but that still doesn't constitute a 'bad' year... at least I don't want to think so. I believe it's all how one perceives life. Gotta take what you've have and move on.

Maybe this is a little late, but I wish everyone great health and genuine happiness in 2007 - a brand new year for all.

Much luff.

One for Monday.

When sad, be really sad, sink into sadness. What else can you do? Sadness is needed. It is very relaxing, a dark night that surrounds you. Fall asleep into it. Accept it, and you will see that the moment you accept sadness, it starts becoming beautiful.

Sadness is ugly because of our rejection of it; it is not ugly in itself. Once you accept it, you will see how beautiful it is, how relaxing, how calm and quiet, how silent. It has something to give that happiness can never give.

Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance.

You cannot bring the balance. The balance that you bring is of no use. It will be forced. Balance comes spontaneously; it is already there. In fact, when you are happy, you become so excited that it is tiring. Have you watched? The heart immediately moves then into the other direction, gives you a rest. You feel it as sadness. It is giving you a rest, because you were getting too excited. It is medicinal, therapeutic. It is just as in the day you work hard and in the night you fall deeply asleep. In the morning you are fresh again. After sadness you will be fresh again, ready to be excited.

Text: Osho