All Things But None

Before a person studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters;

After a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are not waters;

After enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.

Text: Dogen

I like this - quite a bit. I think I'm on the right track. But if only I could find 'em mountains and waters...

I hope everyone is having a good Monday.

I was going to name this post Video Friday, but on second thot, that would be lamer than lame!! haha! Anyway, I saw this Thousand-Hand Guanyin dance piece on YouTube early last year, and have always wanted to post this online, but never did. But last night I found another video of the same performance at the 2005 CCTV Spring Festival Gala!! I was ecstatic! [CCTV performance]

Since it's been out for so long, a good few of you might've seen this already. This particular dance piece is performed by 21 deaf-mutes from the China Disabled People's Performaning Art Troupe (CDPPAT) [Yeah! I can't read it either! gaaah!], led by Tai Lihua [foreground in picture], the lead dancer and the captain of the team. Tai and the other 20 dancers, together with their choreographers and 'sign instructors' [who signal the rhythm of the music as with a maestro and his orchestra] have been traveling and performing around the world for the past years.

"Each time before we practise, our sign language teacher turns up the music and we put our hands on the speakers to feel the vibration," Tai said. "The teacher also explained the music to us. That, along with repeated practice, helps us to reach a state of near perfection."

You can read the article here. Not that Tai is famous or anything like that in China, but the article gives a fascinating view on how one, being a disabled person, got to be where she is today. Any positive media exposure to the disabled community is always good!

All and all, according to Zhang Jigang, the choreographer for this Thousand-Hand Guanyin piece, the ultimate message of this performance can be summed up in the following words:

As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart
A thousand hands will naturally come to your aid
As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart
You will reach out with a thousand hands to help others

I find that simply inspirational!! Again, here is their CCTV performance [I loved it when the guy came out towards the end - happysad!!], and here is the original performance [edited, but the camera angle in this one is dead-on!] that I saw from early last year. You can always search for the full version on YouTube. I think it would be a treat if they'll perform at the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics ceremony!

Lastly, before I go, I want to thank you all for the comments on my last post. That was really unexpected!! I've never had this many comments before and never will again either. I did manage to reply back to everyone. Thanks again and hope you enjoy the video[s]. Have a great Friday everybaudy.

The glasses are for hiding the bags under my eyes - seriously. Though not from lack of sleep mind you but Father Time! This was taken yesterday late afternoon. Got home from work and decided to take the picture. Why not!! A picture for keepsake before I decide to shave it all off. So I got some beard wax and - presto! I could've made it curlier, but I was in a hurry! heh!

Couldn't decide on a song to somewhat go with the photo! Hmm... First I thought of Dizzy by The Flying Lizards, or Astronaut by Lush, then was thinking of a track by Sam Hui... finally I decided on Philip Glass. I prefer this particular track to his many others; I find it simply mesmerizing. How can one not like it? :-)

Have a good day everyone.

--

Currently listening:
Philip Glass - Opening

Uh oh, loud music, incoming... Remember Zerox by Adam & the Ants? I recollect getting the album King of the Wild Frontier when it first came out back in 1981, and also the t-shirt with "Ant Music For Sex People" on the front. I also got an iron-on [do we still have those now a days?] that read "Thank You For Pot Smoking" and underneath that, in small print "The American Cannabis Society". haha! I didn't even know what 'cannibis' was at the time, but I knew about pot! Who didn't! Right? :-)

This weekend Alec and I saw Hot Fuzz with Simon Pegg, and it started out with Adam Ant's Goody Two Shoes!! Su-weet! The movie was pretty kick-ass, a lot of peeps laughed out loud and I did, too. And Simon's kinda cute too don't you think?

The movie was a treat but other than that, I haven't got much to report. I did manage to get a haircut Saturday [whoopie doo, right?]... but in addition, I also got my very first mustache/beard trimmin'. Have you had one of those? This was my very first and it was quite invigorating! My 'stache & beard were growing all over the place. Told the barber I wanted to sport a handle-bar mustache, and that I got. Bought some beard wax from him and I managed to do my own curlycues! The 'stache looks funny on me! haha! I was tempted to come in to work this morning with one, but decided not to. Don't need all the attention y'know! It's a bit of a pain to get both sides even... So I'm thinking it'll just be my weekend thing. With all the different hairstyles and colors I had before, this is really nothing. I might post a picture later for future reference. heh!

Yeah, the music's loud, but it's a good way to wake up on Monday! :-) How was your weekend? Have a great day everyone!

PS. I know this isn't very 'meaningful' compared to my last post, but at least you can dance to this one. :-) It's a decent balance, methinks.

--

One the radio:
Client - Zerox Machine

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
in the very here and now,
the practitioner dwells
in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who knows
how to dwell in mindfulness
night and day
'one who knows
the better way to live alone.'

Text: Adapted from the Bhaddekaratta Sutta,
translated by Thich Nhat Hanh

--

I have a few more Buddhas at home... a fat one, a skinny one, a happy one, one which holds a candle and another one I got as a gift... actually the fat and the happy ones are one and the same! heh. I think I will take a picture of each as a separate post in the future. This picture is being rehashed from my old blog and it's one of the two that I've taken pictures of so far. This one is just... sitting. I think the message above is an excellent way to start/end the weekend! [I know, so much for not blogging on weekends. ehehe!]

To everyone a happy and safe weekend. Love love love [and emptiness! :-)]!! Toodles!

It's Friday... so for those of us who don't work on weekends, YAY! Yesterday I took the day off because a window guy was supposed to drop by to reframe our bedroom window, but unfortunately ever showed up because his truck was busted. gaaah. So I spent the day inside the house. All. Day. Long. Didn't even put on my contact lenses. Played on the 'puter most of the morning. Watched some court television [zoinks!] and then a good few episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond on DVD. That's such a great show... and to think I never wanted to watch it when it was running on prime time. heh.

I was also watching The Tyra Bank Show [again, I don't have cable and I find her quite entertaining]! This particular episode had some of the Phelps family members on stage - the mother and the daughters. I didn't see the whole thing but at one point, the mother said that all the victims from 9/11 deserved to die because they were "perverts" and "God-haters"!!! I was like WTF!?! What was going through my head was how could anyone be so heartless, for a lack of a better word. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing, and after Tyra kicked them off the stage and went to commercials, I just wanted to cry.

I guess I had some time to digest what was said since yesterday, I don't think about it too much now. But before yesterday, I didn't even know who these people were!?! [I know, I'm so sheltered!] In a way, I actually feel kinda sorry for them, especially for her kids. All the hate must be eating them raw on the inside and yet they don't even see it because of their ever-growing ignorance. You oughtta see the 'fire' in the mother's eyes when she was talking... with such force and ferocity. I just hope I never run into people like that, because I don't think I would be any good at containing my rage. Lord knows I try.

I've heard a lot of things before but what she said was simply incomprehensible. I will never understand her hate but I think ultimately, the people she's hurting the most is herself and her children. Anyway, I don't want to think too much about it nor I want you to either. Heh!

In the end, we will all get what is rightly ours. Have a nice evening everyone. xoxo

The earth is undivided. India and Pakistan and England and Germany exist only on maps, and those maps are created by the politicians, the power-mad people. This whole earth is yours.

There is no need to identify with anything. Why become confined to small territories? Why be confined by politics? Claim the whole heritage of the earth. It is your earth. Be a planetary being rather than a national one. Forget about India and England and think of the whole globe. Think of each and everyone as brothers and sisters; they are!

When you are an Indian you are against others. You have to be, otherwise how will you define your Indianhood? You are against China, against Pakistan, and against this and against that; all identifications are basically against. When you are for something, you are against something else, naturally. Don't be for and against -- just be. There are better things to think about. You don't ask, "With what disease should I identify myself -- tuberculosis or cancer?" You don't ask that. These national identities are just like tuberculosis and cancer.

In a better world there will be no countries, in a higher world there will be no religions. To be human is enough, and one has even to go beyond that one day; then one becomes divine. Then even this earth is too small to contain you, then the stars are also yours, this whole universe is yours. And when one becomes universal, one has arrived.

Text: Osho

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Currently listening:
Yann Tiersen feat. Liz Fraser - Kala

I had a new post up a few hours ago... I took it down just now because I couldn't stop thinking about what's happened in Virginia Tech. Everything seems so insignificant compared to those who has lost their lives so senselessly, and to the families and loved ones who are forever mourning. People die every day and almost every moment - at war and at home, but we just don't need anything more like this...

My deepest condolences.

--

Currently listening:
Jane Siberry - Calling All Angels

Who blogs on weekends, yeah? I rarely do! But something came to mind this evening and I just had to write about it. I also have a bunch of email to reply back... Oy! I did a pretty good job on catching up last week, but I'm almost there... just gimme another day or two. So anyway, I was just thinking, is that how nice is it to be able to write. To blog! We don't think about it much, but I think it's a luxury in itself. But tonight what I was really thinking about was: How wonderful it is to be able to read other people's blogs!!! How THAT's a pleasure indeed. I definitely think so.

I could read blogs all day long... now either I'm seriously desperate for something, or that I haven't much of a life myself. Whichever the case, I think people are just simply fascinating!! And to be able to read the happenings about my online friends [that would be you!] is absolute joy. I might not catch everybody's in a day or two, but I do try to keep up. 'nuff said.

Some are happy and some are sad... Within days, I've been reading about:

• someone having one of his tooth removed [ouch! Or shall I say "boo hoo hoo!" heh!];
• someone who's passionate about art, music and botany, and who's also a FIVE-STAR chef;
• someone's annual Boiled Egg Decorating Day Plastic Egg Hunt [now try to say that 10 times really fast!];
• someone making bacon ice cream [zoinks! Oh yeah, very nice picture by the way! *wink wink*];
• someone who videotapes himself singing when he gets a bit sad/melancholy;
• someone's absolute love for nature and who is going to see Bjork [Me, jealous?? Nooooo!];
• someone's love for sailing and his katana sword practice [Kill Bill comes to mind! haha!];
• someone who's a professional photographer and has a body absolutely to die for;
• someone's insatiable love for Barbra & Goldfrapp [heh!], and with a big, big heart to boot;
• someone's diary as an actor in the Big Apple;
• someone who worries about his partner who might get called in to fight the war [am still crossing my fingers!];
• someone who's utterly poetic and sweet and a day/night-shy being a Christmas baby;
• someone's sacred and unending love for books;
• someone who moved back to Cincinnati to be reunited with his boyfriend;
• someone who's a professional comedian and wants to make you laugh out loud [and that he does!];
• someone's constant struggle with depression;
• someone who is finally living out his dreams as a designer/decorator;
• someone who expresses himself ever so gracefully through his poetry and lyrics;
• someone dedicating his birthday wishes to the love of his life with a video tribute;
• someone's love for movies/musicals and Disneyland and everything else in between;
• someone's beloved mother who passed away less than a week ago [my deepest condolences to you Preston, and to your family!].

Now that's a lot of somones. Not a great list because my verbiage/grammar might be off, but it's a good list. It might not mean much to you, but it means quite a bit to me! I was just thinking about all the fascinating and memorable stories that I've read through the years from you all... Personal journeys, the triumphs and tragedies... May it be 15 paragraph-long or just a few words or a picture... every entry makes an impact on me no matter how big or minute. Everything is personal. Every one of you is pretty darn special - to me. [Wait, but if everyone is special, then... Well you know what I mean, yeah?]

To sum it all up, there is much joy in reading [and seeing] each and every one of you. It really is a privilege.

xoxo

Update: Crapola! I just realized that I forgot to mention my favorite roller-disco superstar in S.F.! Yeah, you know who you are!! :-)

2nd Update: Okay, I didn't forget and he's up there on the list... I'm just a nincompoop! ugh!

Who knew one can learn so much from a 13yo girl!! Her bull-headed stubborness and that all she could care about was the money......

Well I did, and I learned a lot. From a movie anyway. And every time I watch it, I get a knot in my heart... Have you seen it? I definitely think she deserves a full shot here on my journal. :-) I'm going to re-watch it again this weekend.

Have a safe and a relaxing weekend everyone.

--

Currently listening:
San Bao - Not One Less [Soundtrack]

How does one measure success? How do you measure yours? I got to thinking about that last night and this morning. Sometimes, I very much dislike the word itself: Success. I think for a lot of people, we're quite often pressured by society that one needs to be 'successful' in order to amount to anything. I think most people these days have mistaken being successful to happiness. I think I shun away from the word myself. I have food on the table, I have a job, I have someone who loves me, I have my family close by, my decent health... Not that I don't have any problems mind you, but I think I have it okay. What else can I ask for? Maybe happiness... for others.

So what is success? Have you gotten there yet? I think society and the way that we were brought up can put such a damper on things... on our mind. You have to get here and here in order to be happy about yourself, in order to fit in... or else, you might as well be a failure or a nobody. How awful is that? I think the phrase 'The Pursuit of Happiness' is kinda silly is it not? I believe the true happiness that we seek is already IN us - look no further. As for that saying, if one is in a constant state of pursuing, one will never get there. But again, of course, that's just my observation.

Anyway, I see people doing things constantly, just to keep themselves sane. Working on this, working on that, and never truly taking a breather to get themselves away long enough to really enjoy the moment, to enjoy what's already here... giving back some time to themselves. I guess you can call these people workaholics. They're not as bad as other 'holics, but to a point, I think it's still destructive.

The society says it's good to work, work, and work until you reach a certain goal. After that, work some more and set another goal, and another, and then another... Seems like the older we get, the less time we have, and the busier our schedule. We hardly have any time left to think about what is truly meaningful and important to us. I find that very sad. Of course everything has its pluses and minuses, and that there's always a flipside to all things. I guess the point I'm trying to say is that it's utterly important to have a balance in our everyday life. It truly is. And sometimes, people simply forget... and I think it's a shame.

Life isn't all about achievements. It isn't all about successes and failures. It isn't about having to accomplish this and that by this time or that. It's about knowing and understanding your heart and giving back the love to yourself, and to others. Happiness is in you, yet so is sadness. It is already happening, if you let it. One cannot and will never find it in any other place. Every thing and every thought starts with you. Right here. Inside. And I believe that.

Hope you're doing well today. xoxo

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend. Saturday night Alec and I attended my mum/dads' 50th anniversary dinner, AND it was also my grandma's 95th birthday... Chinese food galore. It's always good to see everyone, not everybody showed up, but it was a good enough crowd - 2 large tables. To me - any family celebration is a good celebration. BTW, mum and dad are in the middle sitting down, and the ones in orange and in white are my 2 sisters. A cousin of mine and Alec are being 'sandwiched'. I know I rarely post pictures of my family, but I think maybe it's a good time to start! :-)

This year, I didn't know what to get for my grandmother. I'm proud to say, ah-hem, that I AM her favorite grandchild. eheh! Actually, I'm everyone's favorite. Okay, now I'm pushin' it! My grandma raised me up when I was born and she means everything to me. So thinking of what to get her on her birthday was a bit of a challenge. I've gotten her enough blankets and throws and sweaters and slippers and everything else that she needed. Yet with my grandma, she doesn't really need much. A pair of shoes can last her 5 years! Everything she owns fits into a large duffle bag. Kinda sad isn't it? All ninety-five years into one piece of luggage. But my grandma doesn't need much though. Whenever I see her I always ask her if she needs stuff like denture tablets, hand lotions, Salonpas, etc. This past Christmas I got her another warming blanket. So for her birthday, what's a grandchild to do!?!

So while shopping at a department store, I finally decided to get her a stuffed animal! Yeah, a cute giant ducky to brighten up her room... and a photo album which can house about 200 4x6's. Friday night I promptly uploaded most of the family pictures from recent years and got them printed for Saturday morning pickup. I had to say, once it was all assembled, it turned out really nice. While uploading, I even found some old pictures of me and my sister Medina, who passed away last July, taken back around 2002. She just turned 56 last May. I couldn't help but to cry, cry and cry in front of the monitor...

In the picture above, don't I look like a ganster with long[er] hair? ugh. Anyway, here's another photo of a younger me and grandma, having a birthday lunch for me which my mum/dad treated. I think I look a bit younger with shorter hair. My silvery-grey isn't as noticeable. I think.

All and all, it was really a great evening! Even my aunt & uncle from San Francisco came down for a day just for the dinner. So nice of them. In the topmost picture, they're the two on the far right. You can tell why my Uncle Paul gets along with Alec so much. ehehe!

The following day we also had a Easter Sunday brunch with Alec's grandparents, his aunt and uncles, and a few of his grandparents' longtime friends. So nice to see them all, as always. But we forgot to bring the camera. So no pictures!

Now that I'm older, I would never want to miss another family function, either Alec's or mine. Whether one gets along with his/her family or not, to me, family is still forever. Isn't it?

While getting in my car and heading out to lunch yesterday, I found a note on my windshield. First thing that came to mind was the only other note that I've gotten, about 10 years ago that read: REPENT! TODAY COULD BE YOUR LAST DAY! Gaaaah. Now how rude was that!!! But not really if you have car plates like these. So no biggie. I just chuckled and tossed the note away. I was thinking of getting the name Abdiel... Blast! It was taken! These days, I think people simply feel sorry for me. Free country, think what you will, right? haha!

Long story short, this note was very sincere. The kid [who I've seen many times at work and that we always park in the same space/area] apologized profusely and left his cell number. After I checked out the nick and was getting back into my car and there he was, walking out and saying that he was sorry. "Just let me know what I can do...", he said. "No worries, it's an old car and I wouldn't have noticed it anyway if you hadn't left me the note!" It's true, it's not noticeable at all unless it's pointed out to you. Finding him being so sincere was enough for me. So that was that.

Funny that I was thinking about car crashin' the other day. Remember Martin De Thurah's music videos? He also made other brilliant projects like these 2 Speeding Hurts commercials, here and here with the song The Lucky One sung by Alison Krauss. Morbid maybe, but stunningly sur-realistically beautiful - to me. These made their appearance on my old blog before, maybe they'll be more dramatic the second time around. Are you depressed now?

A very happy Good Friday and a wonderful Easter everyone!!

1. Go to Google Maps;
2. Click on "Get directions" (under the search box);
3. Type New York in the first box (the "from" box);
4. Type London in the second box (the "to" box);
5. Click the Get Directions button;
6. Scroll down to step #23.

Ahaha! Toodle-pip!

Not mine, but the BBC series hosted by David Attenborough. Talking about millipedes the other day, I just finished rewatching Life In The Undergrowth. Have you seen it? It's my favorite from the Life series since I'm quite fond of bugs and invertebrates myself... As long as they don't jump out of nowhere and eat my face, then I'm good.

Right up there is also The Blue Planet. It's so mesmerizing to watch. Some of my favorite species are the octopus, jellyfish, sunfish and the wondrous leafy sea dragons!! Have you seen pictures of a "Dumbo" octopus? Though for the larger sea creature category, the one I absolutely love is the manatee! Cuz it reminds me of, well - me. Maybe it's their go about way-of-life that I like... so kick back and carefree. Sea cow, so funny. Uh huh, they're my favorite. What's yours?

There's also Life of Mammals and Life of Birds. The only show which I haven't seen is Life on Earth, and one which comes out next year - Life in Cold Blood, a series on reptiles. Lastly there's Planet Earth which is coming out the end of the month. I can hardly wait since I have no cable. So have I bored you enough yet?

Here is the trailer to Planet Earth if you're interested. It's an absolutely fuckin' amazing world we live in.

Doesn't your life seem to be its own entity at times? Sometimes I look at mine and the outside world, somehow they seem completely segregated... Life isn't a dream but only dream-like. How was your weekend by the way?

I spent a good 3.5 hours at my neighborhood Borders bookstore yesterday. Once upon a time I would spend hours at a record/CD store, those days are long gone. In my opinion, I believe a good bookstore alone is a wonderful source of entertainment - a world of knowledge under one roof. People say that knowledge is power... but if only power is knowledge, hmm, that would be something to think about wouldnit? Maybe that's why I tend to forget what I read/learn cuz I believe knowledge stiffens you, or that I just haven't the decent brain mass. Maybe the older I get, the less I [want to] know. Or that I'm just not young enough to know everything.

Anyway, I read the following excerpt a few months ago. Gave me a happysad feeling. Happy April everyone.

THIS FLOATING WORLD
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

The image of a human life as a small skiff on the wide waters of the world has been around as long as people have had boats, and the thought of that life is a dream is no news flash either. But what does it mean that there is something happy, maybe even beautiful or consoling, in thinking so?

[...]

This world we are born into--this complicated, difficult, haunting touching world--is the one whole thing. It is the world we awaken in, and awaken to. Our awakening is made of this world, just as it is. It doesn't come from some other realm like a bolt from the blue, and you don't go to someplace else when you awaken. Awakening is not a destination, and meditation is not a bus ride. Awakening is the unfolding of an ability to see what has always been here. To see, more and more reliably, what is actually in front of you.

[...]

We're awfully lucky that life isn't a monologue. There is so much that is unexpected and unplanned for, and those are the things that can make all the difference: raising a child you didn't give birth to, helping an elderly neighbor as she's dying, spending time in a foreign country because you fell in love with someone who lives there. Sometimes these things fall like grace from some unanticipated cloud, and sometimes it's more like a meteor plowing into us. But the world is filled with stories of how hardships and difficulties can pull us deeper into life, if we let them; they can bring us heart and soul in a way the easy life never could.

In this dreamscape of a world, heavens and hell realms are a thought or a phone call or a news broadcast away. Children turn into adults you never could have imagined they carried inside them. The sky over the sea is full of pelicans, and then they almost disappear, and now the sky is full of them again, because humans started using DDT and then stopped. On any morning, what happens on the other side of the world can make you weep over your breakfast.

Perhaps, after all, we shouldn't take our lives so personally, shouldn't think of them as the monologue of busy and insistent and separate selves. Perhaps we are made up of landscapes and events and memories and genetics; of the touch of those we hold dear, our oldest fears, the art that moves us, and those sorrows on the other side of the world that make us weep at the breakfast table. The astronomer Carl Sagan used to say that if you really want to make an apple pie from scratch, you have to start with the Big Bang.

[...]

But which I mean, to experience the dreamlike quality of life is to understand that there is something mysterious at the heart of things, something we can't figure out or get control of. It's a mighty big ocean whose surface we skim. If we lean back into that experience, we're more and more at peace with what isn't certain, and less and less in a chronic state of complaint at what W.H. Auden called the disobedience of the daydream. We spend so much time disappointed in life for being life. But as we feel less and less resistance to things as they are, as peace grows in the midst of uncertainty, kindness is not far behind. We're not at war with life so much anymore, and that is a kinder way to be. When we're not fighting with life, or turning away from it, joining in seems to come pretty naturally. Someone is hungry; it's time to make dinner. An election turns out badly; where do we go from here? When we're aware of the dream of life, we know that we're part of its co-creation whether we act or not.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

The word merry came from roots meaning "pleasing" and "of short duration." This poignant life, so fleeting and yet made entirely of eternal moments--this is the dream we are making together, this is the dream that is making us, and that is the one whole thing.

Text: Joan Sutherland

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Currently listening:
Penguin Cafe Orchestra - Perpetuum Mobile