All Things But None

Another day. Another opportunity to write! I ain't no scholar, try as I might, and another attempt to put my thoughts in words. Just now I was reading Matt's writing and seeing Pod's photographs made me feel all warm n' fuzzy inside. Thinking just how fortunate I am to be exposed to such wonderful work by these everyday people. Yet everybody's different, and everyone has something so personal to share. Amazing. Amazing to me.

As for me, I barely graduated high school. GPA was below par. So I just write what I write. Sometimes I start a sentence with 'And', tenses are incorrect, words are transposed with limited adjectives... so again, I just write what I write. Most of the times I don't even know if I make much sense at all. So I've been reading more and more these days, not necessary to better my writing style nor for the thirst for knowledge really... Why? It's just... interesting I suppose. And a lot of time, seems like I can't even retain much information. gaaah!

I haven't been reading fictions for years, maybe I simply just don't believe in them! :-) I believe that some things you read and you go 'outside' of yourself, the feeling is mostly external. And other things that you read, you feel it more on the 'inside', they get in the crevices of your heart and stay. Remembering one of the snippets now that I posted before from Thich Nhat Hanh, something as familiar as Hope yet being turned upside down, it's like seeing something old, new again... (Sorry to bore you if you've read it before)

Hope Is Not Enough
Hope is important, because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. But that is the most that hope can do for us -- to make some hardship lighter. When I think deeply about the nature of hope, I see something tragic. Since we cling to our hope in the future, we do not focus our energies and capabilities on the present moment. We use hope to believe something better will happen in the future, that we will arrive at peace, or the Kingdom of God. Hope becomes a kind of obstacle. If you can refrain from hoping, you can bring yourself entirely into the present moment and discover the joy that is already here.

Enlightenment, peace, and joy will not be granted by someone else. The well is within us, and if we dig deeply in the present moment, the water will spring forth. We must go back to the present moment in order to be really alive.

Many religions are based on the notion of hope, and this teaching about refraining from hope may create a strong reaction. But the shock can bring about something important. I do not mean that you should not have hope, but that hope is not enough. Hope can create an obstacle for you, and if you dwell in the energy of hope, you will not bring yourself back entirely into the present moment. If you re-channel those energies into being aware of what is going on in the present moment, you will be able to make a breakthrough and discover joy and peace right in the present moment, inside of yourself and all around you.

--

So anyway, ever since I got my personal license plates, people have asked me simply why? Why Sadness? At times I would not have much to say, couldn't come up with an answer. I do not know. I've read Osho's interpretation on it, but it isn't quite exactly my interpretation. *sigh* Then a couple of weeks ago I had lunch with a friend of mine. He also asked me the same question afterwards in an email. I replied back: ...when one's more aware, everything feels more beautiful and vibrant, and yet, many thing seems more sad, too. And I think this suits me better.

So it's like I read and I read, and this is what I can finally come up with... Funny! But I'm quite happy with it, even though I'm sad! :-) Have a great day!!