Do you remember your teenage years? Say, when you were 9 or 12? How the days just dragged on and on? Not many things to worry about. You had food on the table with pretty much no effort on your part... for most anyway! Things weren't simple then for adults, but for kids, every day was like a day at the park! Time was less chaotic, more still compared to today. No stains. I felt like I had all the energy in the world... I was invincible! My mind wasn't weighted down, and everything was just a game. I would ask myself: "What to do today... let's see!" And back then I wasn't very ambitious... and to this day, I'm still not quite sure. So maybe in the future, I'll see my present days as being what it was then... Who knows but the moon and the stars!
I was thinking about that yesterday morning while driving to work. How time once were. Now my body feels heavy, and so does my heart... and I tear up more often these days but not because of a bad fall or a scrape. I certainly have more stuff crammed inside my sloshy little brain. So now what? Seeing today's world in a different light. Back then, I didn't care about much of anything... the world was mine and no matter how small my castle, I was the King. Yet these days, every now and then I feel like closing myself off to the world.
I realized that I'm very blessed and quite content. And I am. In this lifetime, while I'm here, yet often times I feel like I have a 'mission' to fulfill... something to be accomplished. I can read and observe and read some more, but no true answers will come in a form of a chapter or a page. Have you heard your calling? Do you know your true cause?
Maybe I'm thinking too much, or too little. I AM enjoying this life of mine though! No matter how tired I get and how down I feel sometimes, my life has been nothing but spectacular... This I know for certain! Referring to what I wrote last week, I guess I just need to be more patient and receptive. Funny that, I just remembered when I was single and [Ahem!] cruising 'available' on the internet back in the mid 90's, in addition to my stats, my profile I simply stated: To be a good person. [I know, not very alluring was it!] Easier said than done! And didn't someone say that the simplest things are the most difficult to achieve? I still think that's a very good place to start. At least I would like to think I'm ambitious about that.
Happy Thursday everyone!! xoxo
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Currently listening:
Cocteau Twins - Know Who You Are At Every Age
Comments (8)
It's amazing how you often write about things that I was just thinking about... I think I have a blog crush on you. There, I said it.
Posted by D-Man | June 23, 2007 12:37 AM
Posted on June 23, 2007 00:37
being nostalgic, i love the old days. i sometimes would like to pop back, but i do love where i am now. i have a sloshy little brain like you too, with a fair amount os silliness simming around....
Posted by pod | June 20, 2007 5:07 AM
Posted on June 20, 2007 05:07
I like the way you said, "You had food on the table with pretty much no effort on your part..." The thing is... life was never meant to be struggle!
Even as a baby, you were one with the universe, you wanted food. You cried. Food appeared. You were wet. You cried. You were changed into dry clothes. Babies know how to get what they want so well. There's a lot we can learn from them :)
Posted by alkam | June 15, 2007 4:13 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 16:13
Robert, I just posted something similar!! hahaha I think as adults we are more aware of time and it's importance in life, therefore it effects us more. And when WAS the last time you were single? hahaha
Posted by Dr.P | June 15, 2007 8:22 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 08:22
that was lovely.
most people don't' realize when they are happy. They know later on when they were happy. However, if they went back in time to meet themselves at the happy time, the past self would wonder what the hell are you talking about. I'm busy doing daily tasks and the mundane. (or so it seems at the time)
So try to realize the happiness in every present.
Posted by Urspo | June 14, 2007 9:05 PM
Posted on June 14, 2007 21:05
beautiful post Robert! Loved it, I remember those days too, seemed like every day was so long, I remember my mom saying it won't always be that way, they seem to fly so now. Great thinking! Your in a good place.
Posted by derek | June 14, 2007 5:13 PM
Posted on June 14, 2007 17:13
I think the amiable goal of "trying to be a good person" is timeless. Any age, any time, ongoing. Life definitely seemed to be much more simple then. Times have definitely changed. I loved this point.
Posted by Lewis | June 14, 2007 10:03 AM
Posted on June 14, 2007 10:03
I'm with you although there are times where I could go back to those carefree times for, say, a day a month? I think we'd all be a little more relaxed that way.
Posted by Howard | June 14, 2007 8:03 AM
Posted on June 14, 2007 08:03