Seems like it's been a long time since I wrote anything. A week IS a long time in the blogworld innit? I hope everyone had a good week since and a great week to come. Not much happened with me. A coworker asked me yesterday if I did anything exciting over the weekend, I said, "Yeah, I saw my folks!" Maybe not as 'exciting' to you as it seems, I guess I was more glad and happy about it. I usually see them every 2 weeks, that's only 2 dozen times a year, and when I think about it, it isn't all that much. And last weekend I just didn't have the time so I was kinda bummed not being able to visit them. But Alec and I saw them this Saturday and it was a very nice visit.
For the past few years, my mum's been growing most of her own veggies in the back lot. The soil isn't even good, but what comes out is nothing but amazing. She's been growing bitter melons, winter melons, Chinese string beans, small chili peppers and tomatoes. So we got there at around 11.30am this Saturday and my mum took Alec and I on a mini tour of her veggie garden. Especially the tomatoes, the colors are brilliant and they're heavy and beefy as hell. Nice, solid, juicy tomatoes. Mmm...
Too bad I don't like bitter melons, but they're supposed to be really good for you. I see that the soil is quite hard and fulla rocks and not suitable for growing anything but weeds, but somehow my mum managed to be doing quite well. I don't know how she does it, but every year she's been successful on her crop. I believe it's the love and devotion that she gives that the veggies thrive on.
Long story, but about a year ago my brother and his wife got into a bad disagreement with my parents, they've stopped letting her see their grandchildren since then. Maybe the way she tends to her garden has something to do with it... Seeing how she takes care of her veggie patch is nothing short of amazing. She told us that she waters her veggies twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening for about an hour each time. "The money that I use to water probably can buy us all the veggies you see here!" she said. Alec and I both laughed and yet she's probably right! :-)
I also saw my brother that day. He went to my dad's to pick up something. I saw him briefly and gave him a big hug. He didn't hug back but he appreciated it... He just smiled. He's like that. I remembered when I told my parents about me being gay, he was the one who came in to my room and gave me a hug as I was crying... Anyway, their relationship has gotten better, but his wife still isn't talking. So before he left, my mum gave him a box of fresh veggies to take home. My dad also made him a sandwich, but my brother didn't take it cuz he was full or something.
While I was there, I also spent a good amount of time just hanging out with grandma. While Alec was out in the living room watching TV [that's Chinese television, poor thing! :-)] and talking to my dad, I was in my grandma's room. Just watching her, being with her. She can hardly hear me these days, and she refuses to use an hearing aid either. Every time my mum would need to raise her voice just so grandma could hear. Poor mum. Grandma started using a cane about 3 weeks ago after she fell, but she only uses that when she absolutely has to. She refuses to use a walker and pushing her in a wheelchair is simply out of the question. She's always, always been independent so her stubborn-ness is second nature. She rests a lot these days and only eats in her room now. She has a little kid's table and chair [from my niece & nephew' playset] in the corner and that's where she sits and eats - everyday.
Well, if you've read this far and haven't fallen asleep, kudos to you! How do you do it?!? :-) Anyway, I won't even try to build up a sappy story here... So I was just sitting on my grandma's bed, watching her eat in the corner. I thought: Ninety-six years on this planet, and now she simply sits. Something came over me... seeing her like this made me really sad. I started crying really hard... My mum came in the room and talked to me, and comforted me. While I was still crying, without saying a word my grandma turned to me for a few seconds before she turned back and resumed her lunch with porridge and 2 simple dishes. I don't think she even realized that I've been crying... It's better that way. Mum gave us a bagful of tomatoes before we left, and also the sandwich that my dad made for my brother to take home. "See you in 2 weeks!", I said as I gave everyone a kiss on the cheek on my way out.
Sunday morning I had half the sandwich. It was a chicken sandwich with, of course, tomato chunks spread between 2 pieces of toasted [now very soggy] white bread. When I first unwrapped it, tears rolled down my cheeks. A sandwich that was made from my dear old dad - with love. Love is automatic. As I get older, I've turned into a crybaby... just like my dad. He's like that, too. Every time I see my family, it's a wonderful blessing. And sometimes I ask myself: How long will all this last? When do people decide to leave? Maybe I should refrain from asking and just enjoy the moment. This very moment.
See, not an exciting weekend, but a weekend well spent. Hope you're having a great Tuesday! xoxo
Comments (25)
A second blog: and extremely large research project's home to be.
Ahaha, I thot that was you! :-) So 2 blogs now? How do you find the time? heh!
Posted by will | August 26, 2007 10:28 PM
Posted on August 26, 2007 22:28
A weekend with the family and good vegetables is probably better than exciting. It's often something dreaded but enjoyed after you're there.
As you can see, another weekend with my folks for me. I'm loving it these days. I really do! I guess we built up super high tolerance for each others these days! heh!
Posted by JunkThief | August 22, 2007 8:33 AM
Posted on August 22, 2007 08:33
Such a good boy, visiting your folks. And bringing Alec with you. :) I understand about your Grandmother. My Dad's hearing isn't so good and he should use a cane, but he refuses. I guess we tend to get ornery and stubborn as we age.
Thanks Greg. I think you're right, the older we get, the more stubborn we become... We just have our own set ways. No body wants to depend on anyone I guess.
Posted by Greg | August 21, 2007 2:23 PM
Posted on August 21, 2007 14:23
i just got back from a week away
I luv luv luv home grown tomatoes!
what sort does she grow?
i would kill for one!
yum
Welcome back Urspo. I'm not sure which ones they are, but the ones she gave me are the ones in the picture! Those ARE her tomatoes. I took 'em all out of the bag and shot the photo! They're juicy and heavy!! Makes me happy just looking at them! heh! Now I only have 3 left! Maybe I'll take more pictures this weekend when I'm over.
Posted by Urspo | August 20, 2007 7:51 PM
Posted on August 20, 2007 19:51
That's so sad about your brother and sister-in-law and parents. I hope they find a way to work it out and forgive. One day your brother will regret it if they don't.
I think it must be a parent's job to upset their grown-up kids -- they all do. ...but, I guess some are better at it than others and some kids are more sensitive than others.
Color me impressed about the amount of time you spend visiting your family!!! ...I have seen my mom more in the last 3 years than in the last decade. I've seen her 2 times in 3 years!!!! ...Normally I see her about once every 5 years or so. We talk on the phone. Or, rather, she talks and talks. I sort of listen.
I love her. She loves me. ...but, it isn't an easy sort of love.
Yeah, it is sad about my brother and my folks. I worry about my brother a lot of times, especially when he's away, overseas. If I worry, my folks must be worried sick! Maybe they're just different people. Love is never easy. Is it? I'm glad you and your mum love each other, no matter how far the distance. Sometimes getting together is the hardest part! Hope you're feeling better Matty!! xoxo
Posted by matty | August 20, 2007 5:52 PM
Posted on August 20, 2007 17:52
A wonderful post from a wonderful human. You make me miss my folks. [And i don't think there's anything wrong with a good cry now and again. If so, I'm in trouble.]
Where are your folks in the states Sandy? Sydney is so far, too! :-(
Posted by sandy | August 19, 2007 7:39 PM
Posted on August 19, 2007 19:39
Hello. Later, me.
Hello Will? Wha? A new blog eh? :-)
Posted by Will | August 18, 2007 9:13 PM
Posted on August 18, 2007 21:13
If I knew where your mom lived, I'd be stealing those fresh veggies. I am probably the only one here who like fuh guah.
So you're so funny! Yeah, the fuh guah is mos def an acquired taste, not for everyone! :-) I'm still getting used to eating it. It's good with scrambled eggs tho. Maybe soup! That I can tolerate! heh! Thanks for visiting... and I think your name is Robert!
Posted by DTS | August 18, 2007 3:50 PM
Posted on August 18, 2007 15:50
i have totally neglected you!
but that doesn't mean i had forgotten you...
what the hell is that your mum is holding? get away from there!
robert? robert?
sorry, silliness.....
you are such a sweet soul robert
i smile at you
Well Pod, your silliness made my morning! hehe! I don't know what she's holding... maybe my mum is one of those pod-people now [pun intended?]! ;-) But that melon tasted really good tho. She made me a potful a few weeks ago and it was yummy and sweet.
Thanks for the kind words, too. But really, I'm really not that sweet! bwhahahaha!
Posted by pod | August 17, 2007 6:10 PM
Posted on August 17, 2007 18:10
What a beautiful story. It made me tear up just reading it. It's the cancer rising! You are very luck to visit with your family so often.
Nothing ever beats fresh produce. It's the best.
Love you, Robert!
Yeah, that's why I'm not planning on moving away anytime soon! :-) And Alec encourages me to stay, that's a great thing. Love you too K-A... Am glad that you're not in a funk anymore! heh!
Posted by Kevin-Andrew | August 17, 2007 12:52 PM
Posted on August 17, 2007 12:52
It's always the simple things that means so much more. It's great just having family around, sometimes I'm with them and we're just going on about our daily ritual yet my heart's brimming with joy.
One time, I got so moved by the moment I had to run to the next room and cry, My kid cousin just stood by me since we don't talk since I don't speak Norwegian, and he doesn't know English.
You've made me teary. Ah crying does us good sometimes.
Have a good weekend!!
Crying can be so cleansing when appropriate. Life can be sad sometimes, but as long as one knows that it's also good, then I think it's okay! :-)
Posted by Kris | August 17, 2007 12:50 PM
Posted on August 17, 2007 12:50
Nothing beats fresh veggies! And this is a beautiful post.
Thanks Steve. Maybe when I'm older, I'll have my own veggie patch some day!!
Posted by diamondfistwerny | August 17, 2007 12:37 PM
Posted on August 17, 2007 12:37
It's always great to have family get-togethers; the things we end up doing may be simple but I never tire of them (well, maybe bored sometimes ;P).
Thanks for sharing this with us :)
My sister is the 'chatty-cathy' in the family. Sometimes when I'm there by myself, I find myself not knowing what to say either. Or I would just go into my grandma's room and be with her... She can't hear me most of the times, but being there with her is enough for her.
Posted by mike.w | August 16, 2007 10:22 PM
Posted on August 16, 2007 22:22
Aw, this was a nice post. You know, I think Asian moms are the same...my bro is married and my mom will still pack food for him to take home. Meals. I know how you feel about your grandma. When they reach a certain age, it is hard not to think about the sad things, but it is why its important to enjoy the moment more now than ever. You will be thankful for going home every 2 weeks! And bless Alec's heart for watching Chinese television. What a great guy!! (you too!)
Yup, my mum gives me a bagful of food every time I visit. It's how they show their love these days... It is very hard not to think about the 'sad' things... and every 2 week seems like an eternity sometimes...
Posted by Dr.P | August 16, 2007 7:06 PM
Posted on August 16, 2007 19:06
What a lovely family you have! No wonder you're such a great son and grandson.
My mom forced me to eat bitter melon when I was a little boy. She would have made omelette out of chop-and-diced bitter melons! Now I'm not resisting it.
Thanks Matt. I do try to enjoy my family whenever I can. Now you're making me sad, you talking about your mother...
Posted by Matt | August 16, 2007 11:32 AM
Posted on August 16, 2007 11:32
My friend in Seattle sent me photos of his garden. I'm always fascinated about how things grow. It seems like such a therapeutic way to deal with everyday stress.
Me too. Things grow and grow in Nature's will! I have potted herbs in my kitchen window's sill... and the oregano is out of control... There are 'strands' that are 2+ feet long. doh! I have to water them every other day! They're therapeutic as long as I use them in my dishes! heh!
Posted by lola | August 16, 2007 9:02 AM
Posted on August 16, 2007 09:02
Wow - have not read your blog in for-ever (since it was off-line). Didn't know that your sis passed - I'm so sorry to hear. Man time does creep forth. Am healing and feeling better. Fresh veggies are the BEST. I'm glad to be able to read all of your on-line thoughts again. Miss you guys. Little Archer and I will plan on coming to visit by months end if that's ok.
xo,
b
Great talking to you the other day Bridie. Am glad that you're healing and the surgery wasn't anything major! Great to see Archer and Ben, too! Yeah, come visit! We'll have dining chairs by then! ahaha! I know, after 2 friggin' years!
Posted by Bridie | August 15, 2007 11:57 PM
Posted on August 15, 2007 23:57
If I cried in front of my grandparents, they'd prolly slap me upside the head and say "what the hell are you going on about!" I love my grandparents. I'll send you a pic of them in three weeks at their 65th anniversary.
Well, I think if you have a good reason to cry in front of them, they might just give you a knuckle-sandwich rather than a big slap! Can't wait to see pictures! Take lotz!!
Posted by Ryan | August 15, 2007 4:58 PM
Posted on August 15, 2007 16:58
The love you feel for your family - I only hope one day I can feel that same degree for mine...
Sometimes giving a hug or even saying nice words to one another can be difficult because of whatever reason, but our hearts can still love unconditionally! I believe real love transcends all boundaries. *hugs*
Posted by Spider | August 14, 2007 9:15 PM
Posted on August 14, 2007 21:15
Robert, it is ok to feel the emotions. I am glad that you can and that you have a reason to. Enjoy them as long as you have them around to enjoy.
We only have so much time so enjoy the moment. PJ
Yes, only so much time... and it's like I'm being reminded every time I see them. Happysad. Thanks Preston!
Posted by Lana | August 14, 2007 4:45 PM
Posted on August 14, 2007 16:45
Robert, you are a very lucky man. Enjoy your family and go ahead and let the tears fly!
Yes, I'm lucky indeed. But just so you know, we still drive each other nutz sometimes! hehe!
Posted by Artguy | August 14, 2007 4:29 PM
Posted on August 14, 2007 16:29
Crybaby? Join the club. I usually cry over onions though...not tomatoes.
You make me laugh Lewis! ehehe! I tear up easily these days when I think about my folks, and grand-mama! What's a boy to do!
Posted by Lewis | August 14, 2007 3:18 PM
Posted on August 14, 2007 15:18
Big hugs, you made me teary, too.
*hugs from me to you*
Posted by D-Man | August 14, 2007 1:45 PM
Posted on August 14, 2007 13:45
Great words Robert. I just finished reading "The Kitchen God's wife" by Amy Tan for my Literature class. Your recollection gave me an even warmer feeling than I had after reading that novel.
Have a great day. I think I'm gonna go and make a sandwich...
How sad about Amy Tan! :-( I still can't believe what happened! I saw her film JLC many times in the theatre when it was out, and I still love it. So what kinda sandwich did you make? :-)
Posted by lola | August 14, 2007 9:47 AM
Posted on August 14, 2007 09:47
I think the sandwich your parents gave you had onions in it, because they were getting to me after reading this. :)
(This post is absolutely beautiful.)
Ahaha, you're so funny Howard. I had the other half of the sandwich the day after, even soggier, pretty sad-lookin' sandwich really, but just as good! heh! Thank you my friend.
Posted by Howard | August 14, 2007 9:08 AM
Posted on August 14, 2007 09:08