I went to take my car in on Monday morning at the dealership; it was just an oil change. Not cheap, but I got a coupon in the mail, and it's an easy drop-off. I drop it off in the morning, get my shuttle ride to work... and after work, I call them and they come and pick me back up. And that's how I met Marylou, a woman in her mid-50's. She's always been the driver at the dealership and I first met her about 2 years ago or maybe longer, I don't recall. I go there about 6 or 7 times a year more or less. She's always friendly to everyone but sometimes she can also be a bit reserved. Whenever I see her, we talk briefly for the duration of the ride, which is only about 10-15 minutes. It's always nice seeing her, the few chances that I get whenever my car needed service. She even knows about Alec.
A few months ago she's started telling me about her mother, about her Alzheimer's Disease which slowing crept up about 5 years ago. Ever since she told me, each time I see her I would always ask her how her mother was doing. "Oh it's hard on both of us, but she's hanging in there!" She would tell me how her siblings would never come and visit their mother. How her son won't talk to his uncles anymore because of that. How her mother used to microwave her own food for lunch while Marylou was at work, and this one time she burned the plastic container because she had put it on the stove top instead... How her mother starting to forget her own daughter... It was always so heartbreaking to listen. Slowly sinking... Two months ago I sent her a card that had the word BELIEVE on the front and with a few encouraging words inside. It seemed appropriate at the time I guess. I didn't know her mailing address and even her last name. I called up the dealership and found out her last name, but they would never give out any other personal information. She called me back a couple of days later and said she appreciated it very much.
The month after that I took my car in again. I didn't see her there though. Someone from the service desk told me Marylou just took the day off. She probably had stuff to tend to regarding her mother.
So this past Monday I finally saw Marylou. We did the usual greetings with one another. I asked her how her mother was doing. "She passed away last week... we just had the funeral service this past weekend." My heart sank and I just gave her a big hug and said that I was so sorry. There was another guy who needed a ride, so she asked me if she could drop him off first and then me. "Of course!" I said to her. After the drop off she started to talk. She told me how the service went and how her mother isn't suffering anymore. She said in the end her mom didn't even recognize anyone anymore and thinking that Marylou was her own mother... We talked about her house and she said that unless she gets some extra income, she will probably have to sell it and start renting. She seems strong, I only felt helpless.
Tomorrow I'm will send her some flowers. I will send them to the dealership since I still don't know her home address, and I will send her a card. It's a little something.
I believe losing a parent is one of the most devastating ordeal that one has to go through in life. The strangeness of losing someone so close to your heart... It's indescribable! Take care Marylou. My heart goes out to you...
Comments (15)
And that's what makes you so Robert--spreading your magic wherever you go!
Posted by Jef | November 15, 2007 8:36 AM
Posted on November 15, 2007 08:36
bless your cotton socks
she will appreciate your thoughtfulness i know. my mom died of alz too. she got it very young. it was just awful andso difficult for everyone invovled. the world can seem so cruel at times, but then there are folk such as you
;0)
Posted by pod | November 13, 2007 12:56 AM
Posted on November 13, 2007 00:56
that was a sad but touching post. thankyou for it.
Posted by urspo | November 11, 2007 8:34 AM
Posted on November 11, 2007 08:34
Good on you! There's hope for humanity yet! :)
Posted by alkam | November 10, 2007 3:11 PM
Posted on November 10, 2007 15:11
You've got a big heart there mr. I always knew you did anyway. Big huggerz!
Posted by Derek | November 10, 2007 12:39 PM
Posted on November 10, 2007 12:39
it does not surprise me that you would send flowers, being you. yourself. the angel that you are.
for some the loss of a parent is devastating. some not, one never knows until they go through it. it was for me, i guess i have not recovered yet from it. everyday i wish i could call my mom or run over and see her and take her to lunch or dinner.
when i saw my grandmother the last time, my mothers mother. she called me barry, her son, my mothers brother, my uncle. she thought i was her son. it has always stuck with me before she died on her death bed. i told her i was david but she kept calling me barry.
makes one think.
hugs and love to you and alec,
dave
Posted by david | November 10, 2007 12:46 AM
Posted on November 10, 2007 00:46
it's a sad disease indeed. we need more people in the world like you, robert!
Posted by fashmagslag | November 9, 2007 12:52 PM
Posted on November 9, 2007 12:52
You're way too cool.
Posted by dantallion | November 9, 2007 11:38 AM
Posted on November 9, 2007 11:38
Thanks for the kind words... but I think every one of us would have done something similar given the situation!
Posted by Robert | November 9, 2007 10:30 AM
Posted on November 9, 2007 10:30
Wow, to take time to actually do something like that for a person is just amazing. Thank your for bringing sunshine in her life. You're amazing man.
Posted by Kris | November 9, 2007 9:56 AM
Posted on November 9, 2007 09:56
Wow...what an awesome human being you are...I'm blessed to know you!
Posted by Christopher | November 9, 2007 1:12 AM
Posted on November 9, 2007 01:12
You have such a kind heart --- and, I hope you know how very much it means to another soul to be thought of. I know you do.
That hug probably meant the world.
Alec is quite blessed.
Posted by matty | November 8, 2007 6:10 PM
Posted on November 8, 2007 18:10
That's very kind of you, Robert. From my own experience, I know how difficult it is to keep life on track when a loved one suffers with Alzheimer's. Thank you for listening to her and for lending her a shoulder to cry on, should she have needed one.
Posted by Greg | November 8, 2007 1:35 PM
Posted on November 8, 2007 13:35
Robert, Friends like you are very hard to come by. This made me all teary eyed because I have witnessed your generous acts of kindness first hand. I am glad you met Marylou. I am sure your simple, kind words have made such an important difference in helping her deal with the pains she has been through. I owe you a hug for being so kind!
Posted by Paul | November 7, 2007 10:25 AM
Posted on November 7, 2007 10:25
Robert, an amazing piece and tribute to both mother and daughter. You sound like a great friend. The world is fortunate to have you on it.
Posted by Lewis | November 7, 2007 8:01 AM
Posted on November 7, 2007 08:01