All Things But None

This weekend's ArtLA was quite a let down. The show was not up to par, one would think the artists from Los Angeles would put more effort into their work, but a good amount of pieces were pretty disappointing. My friend Bridie got a bit angry with all the 'bad' art and chimed: "Crapsmanship!!" "Well at least there were A LOT of it!!" I shrugged. I can be so cynical!

Anyway, I have been feeling really giddy about photography lately, may it be a passion or a passing or a new career move, I've never been this excited before. I was thinking to myself: "Why on earth didn't I realized this and do this before?!?" And then I thought, I did realized it all these years but somehow, it just wasn't the right moment and the opportunity wasn't presented... The dream just got tucked away... until now.

According to UPS, I get my camera tomorrow! yay! I hope I don't suck balls at shooting pictures! Who knows! Anyone out there has a Flickr account? If so, can I add you? :-) Have a great week everyone!

All that is great is beyond language.

When there is so much to say, it is always difficult to say it. Only small things can be said, only trivia can be said, only the mundane can be said. Whenever you feel something overwhelming, it is impossible to say it, because words are too narrow to contain anything essential.

Words are utilitarian. They are good for day-to-day, mundane activities. They start falling short as you move beyond ordinary life. In love they are not useful; in prayer they become utterly inadequate.

All that is great is beyond language, and when you find that nothing can be expressed, then you have arrived. Then life is full of great beauty, great love, great joy, great celebration.

Text: Osho

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Currently listening:
Brian Eno - An Ending [Ascent]

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Sitting on the 405 freeway, I was thinking this and that about what's going on in my life. Life is full of uncertainties, that's certain :-), and I find it simply amazing, and amusing! I think me pondering about my life, amongst other things, must be one of my favorite past time activities! And it's FREEEE! heh!

Life is full of beautiful unknowns. It is what it is, but yet we make it what it is. Yeah? Every thing/situation/opportunity is a lesson to be learned, or not. So much went on since last Friday, so it seems. Oright, so sitting in my car, I picked up this calendar that Alec had given me for Christmas, and on the very cover, it reads the above saying by Lao Tze. I thought: Perfect timing!!

Everyone at work is talking about the merger acquisition, I could care less, and even less. But I am going to keep working 'til they kick my butt out the door. I'm not in a hurry. This year's photo la show was so-so, I wasn't as impressed as to what I saw from past years. Jaded? Maybe. There was one print that I particularly liked... It was a 36" x 36" [approx.] print of a boat ramp that fades into the water with rich yet muted colors. It was a 'quiet' photograph... and I think these are the photographs which I find most striking - to me.

There were thousands of photos there, a bit much to take in. I also realized that I like portraitures... it's the gaze! But what makes you like this so and not the other?? So I bought a camera, it's not here yet cuz it's on backorder! I might or might not make a living out of it, who knows. But in time, hopefully I'll have enough assignments to pay for the camera itself. I feel like I've been giving so much time and energy on some of the things that really don't quite matter... My job mostly, which I now lack passion. Do you sometimes feel the same?

I want to make something for myself, for once in my life... Eons ago I was majored in Photography at a reputable art institute [Hello Bridie!!], but that was cut short [very short] due to financial restraints. Took a couple of more classes at different city colleges and that was the end of my education in photography. Now I need to relearn everything from scratch. No big whoop since I find it very exciting. I've been telling myself that I'm too old for this and that, but I'm really not THAT old. Am I?

So at any rate, either I sink or swim, no one knows, but I have a very good outlook about my future. I realized that one must go accordance with his heart, because without its guidance, everything else is just fluff... that's what I've been thinking lately. Oright, the photo above was taken by my good friend Bridie. She's awesome!

So how are your dreams?

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Currently listening:
Air - Mike Mills

I love this one, and this one, and this one... These pictures are from previous years' photo la exhibits... oright, except for the last one since I'm in it! heh! The first print is by Ruud van Empel and Loretta Lux did the 2nd... I love pictures with children as subject, especially these since they're laced with a sense of mystery... and awe! But again, except for the third picture where I'm just busy studying, or pretending that I was! ahaha!

So photo la 2008 is this weekend and am heading out there tomorrow with a few friends. Late notice, but drop on by, I'll take your picture! :-) Owait, I still need a spiffy camera!

Take care luv and have a fun weekend! *toot toot*

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Currently listening:
Air - Night Sight

Y'know I never talk about work or my job here on my blog, but today it's an exception! :-) The company that I work for [name withheld to protect the innocent! heh!] was bought out by Bank of America as of this morning!! Woohoo! It finally happened!

But I really don't know whether to celebrate or to get the f*ck out... least I'll have a year to decide since the integration occurs no sooner than 2009 - so they say! Maybe I'll stick around for the buy-out/severance package?! Maybe I'll get promoted/demoted before that?!? Or maybe I'll get fired before that!? Will I be a florist? Kidding, but the possibilities are endless!

If anything, at least this gave me something to blog about! heh! Happy Friday and have a great weekend everyone!! Much luff!

Soldiers want to conquer their enemy. In marriage, spouses want to dominate each other. Businesspeople wish to conquer their competitors. Big countries wish to conquer small ones, just as the strong are out to conquer the weak. However, even if we do conquer our opponents, we may still be unable to gain control over ourselves.

We need to ask ourselves, "Can we conquer our attachments, selfishness, cravings, and vexations? Can we conquer aging, sickness, and death?" It is easier to conquer others or even the world, but conquering ourselves is as difficult as rising to heaven. Have you ever seen an ordinary individual who has completely mastered his or her own mind?

When people are unwilling to correct even minor shortcomings or to change their ways, how can they conquer themselves? It is like arranging furniture on an uneven floor. How would you expect the chairs and tables to be level? As the saying goes, "When we cannot manage a room, how can we rule the nation or the world?"

The first man to climb to the top of Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary, a New Zealander, was asked, "In the process of climbing Everest, what was the biggest challenge?" He replied, "It is not the mountains we conquer but ourselves." It was overcoming and defeating the mental obstacles and stopping his thoughts of giving up.

We cannot conquer the world or others unless we can conquer ourselves. In conquering others, sometimes we use money, physical force, or even love and sex. When we try to control others with these, they can also control us in the same way. However, using compassion, morals and justice to inspire others is the best way to influence others. When they are happily convinced of our integrity and goodwill, they will become our allies. Ultimately, we must first conquer ourselves before we can inspire others.

Text: Venerable Master Hsing Yun

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I think the above goes quite well with what Jef said today... a familiar linkage. Though I do think the term 'conquer ourselves' sounds a bit harsh and abrasive! :-) Though sometimes it 'feels' like an uphill battle is it not? For us to overcome our own obstacles, to have control and balance in our own lives and becoming our true selves once again... Who doesn't want that?

What's new pu$$ykat? Whoa whoa whooooa!

What's new everyone? I hope you all had a great New Year's Eve celebration... here I wish good health, and a joyous and fruitful year in 2008!! woohoo! Hope all of you guys got some nifty gifts! As for Alec and I, we both got something for each other that we need to return/exchange. Goes to show you how much we know about one another! ahaha!

Last 2 week was hectic for me, mostly. So hectic that I went to work Friday morning with me putting my phone, wallet and my travel mug o' coffee on top of my car... somehow I saw the coffee and not the other other 2 items. So the mug was saved, but the others went flyin'... Gone! Toast!! I don't miss it too much, everything is replaceable. But Alec happened to be on vacation that week and when I called him from work that morning, he looked all over the house and drove and checked all sides of the road, even on the onramp... He then called back: "Did you bring a green apple to work this morning? I saw one near the gutter!" Oh he always knows how to get me laughing! ehehe! He also reminded me that I happened to have a camouflage-pattern'd wallet... making it twice as difficult to spot. It's quite funny, well, to me! :-) So yeah, I lost my phone along with all the phone numbers, but gained the freedom of not having one [for a few more days!], it's quite nice actually... Liberating!

Something was lost and it did bother me. It's not the item itself but what's behind it. It was a hundred dollar that my grandma gave me to put it in her savings account. It's not the money no matter how much, but her trusting me and I being careless and now I feel I've let her down! :-(

Let's see, what else... Alec got us tickets to see Rufus Wainwright and Belinda Carlisle on New Year's eve at the Disney Hall. They did a show about Paris. All songs were sung in French, even the last song, Our Lips Are Sealed! ahaha! But it was way too short. Each of them sang about 4 or 5 songs and 2 together! ugh. Not fair. We felt jibb'd. It went from 7.30 to about 9.00pm. Got home in half hour. I was playing my video game and Alec on the computer... up until 11.30pm, then we got ready for bed. I made sure we were in bed by midnight. hehe!

I closed off all comments for last year's entry. Re-reading most of the entries, I can't believe how many words I've misspelled!! Like 'privilege' and 'extravagant'. Thank goodness for Webster!! Oright, more layoffs here at work, but dunno when!?! No big whoop, it's expected.

Well that's it for now. Oright, the travel mug that I saved, it was one of the Christmas gifts from Alec... that's something innit? :-) So with the new year, maybe I'll write more, or less. Read more blogs, or less. Anything can happen! Toodles.

PS. And I thot I didn't have much to say today! Oy! Then again, it's not like I wrote anything substantial... it's like I didn't say anything at all! hehehe!