All Things But None

I started wearing my handmade Lush tee shirt again this week. I feel so 'good' whenever I put it on. :-) Not because I made it but it's because of the band itself. Sadly, they disbanded back in 1998 due to traumatic circumstances. One of the most under-rated bands of all time in my opinion! I love their song writing cuz most are, you know, 'happy-sad'!

...and I don't even drink! haha! Have a grrreat weekend everyone! Ciao!

--

HALF & HALF
So much happened and I couldn’t deny
That I broke your feelings with the way that I lied
So I do understand the reason you became so weak
Oh baby you’re not half the person that you used to be

Brag your exploits down the telephone
While you scatter her images around our home
And it’s strange how where you feel pride I felt only shame
I guess it’s not unusual that I took all the blame
Did you feel as guilty when you whispered out my name?

They say it takes a while
To really mean goodbye
You say you feel confused
But I’m just feeling used

A year of misery
Has left its mark on me
I should’ve left you when
I wanted to but then

It’s never fair
It’s never fair
It’s never fair
It’s never fair

I wish I could remove
The things I put you through
There’s nothing I could change
If we began again

But you don’t have to take
Any more
Any more
Any more
Any more

I guess I’m only half the person that you thought I’d be
I’m thinking of the time when you first said that you loved me
I’m feeling like I’m half the person that I ought to be

--

Currently listening:
Lush - Half & Half

Before I was born, who am I?
After birth, who am I?
We come into this world with happiness and depart with sorrow,
who is the one on the deathbed with his eyes closed?

This verse comes from the Qing Emperor Shunzhi's poem in praise of the monastic order. His questions are aptly put. Do we know where we come from? Who were we before we were born?

The human body is made up of the four elements of earth, fire, water and wind. When we die, these four elements scatter and are regrouped as we take on another physical form with rebirth in one of the six realms of existence. We are lost as we move from one realm to another. We do not know who we are. Most people rejoice at births and lament upon deaths. What is true joy? What is true sorrow?

Once, a Chan master was going door to door to seek alms. It happened that one of the families he visited just had a new baby and everyone was congratulating the new father. The Chan master, however, started crying out loud. The new father was very surprised and asked him why he was crying. He replied that he was crying because there would be one more death in the future.

Birth comes from death. If we do not want to die, then we must make sure that we break the cycle of rebirth within the six realms of existence. Once there was a famous poet by the name of Tang Bohu. He wrote this poem to illustrate the brevity of life:

It is rare that we live to be seventy,
and my seventy years come as even a surprise to me.
The first ten years of life
we are too young to know anything.
The last ten years of life
we are too old to do anything.
This leaves only fifty good years,
half of which we spend in sleep.
This leaves us only twenty-five years to truly live.
But do you realize how many obstacles
we have to endure in these twenty-five years?

Nowadays people can live to be a hundred and twenty. In the boundless life of the universe a hundred and twenty years go by in a flash. Not to mention many of us will not live to be even a hundred. Many will pass away in their sleep, and we are never sure if we will continue living from one moment to the next.

The joys of birth and sorrow of death are normal emotions for most people. But someone with wisdom will not allow this precious life to go by meaninglessly. They will not allow themselves to wallow in ignorance. We must beware of delusion and open ourselves up to understanding life and death.

Text: Venerable Master Hsing Yun

--

This morning, all I could think of were these 2 fateful words: Center and Separate... Tomorrow is 9-11, I wish peace to those who have lost... Peace to every one. Peace to all.

--

Currently listening:
Imee Ooi - Namo Amitabha

The other day I was thinking thinking, that if I were to focus my energy on doing something, I'd better do it in this lifetime. Yes, in this lifetime cuz who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow! And I if I don't do it now, when will I ever? Seems like there are many things I need/want to do and like I said, if I don't start now, the list is undoubtedly going to get longer and longer. I am such a professional procrastinator y'know! bleh!

Yet another day while I was driving, I noticed to my left this 'artsy' couple sitting in the next car... that got me thinking if they were some uber supercalifragilisticexpialidocious artists or something. Their look fits the profile, but who knows. I consider myself a bit on the artistic side but I don't look anything like an artist. Ah who the f*ck knows, I'm just doing it.

In life, people say, one's gotta grab the bull by the balls horns! There are plenty of neat things to do, and to learn, while attending life. Last night I saw a listing for a photography seminar... 2008 Outdoor & Digital Photo Seminars with Frans Lanting and Bruce Dale. I'm excited about it. I've never heard of these photographers before but seeing their work got me all fired up! I signed up for the 2 seminars this morning. There's a 1.5hr lunch break in between, I think I'll use that time to take some pictures. Care to join? :-)

So that's my update for the moment. Set you mind and everything else will follow! This will be my motto for the day! xoxo

Yesterday I heard some bad news from a good friend of mine. Last week his father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and that it had already spread to his liver and kidneys. My friend was planning on flying back home this Friday, but he decided to take last night's flight home instead. I don't think there is much time.

To return home... maybe that's what life is all about! Maybe that's our final destination. Or not. A coworker of mine just walked by and said she attended a funeral yesterday... of a 54yo man who was her son's former English teacher, who died during the Metrolink crash a couple of weeks ago in Chatsworth. I was told he just flew back from his mother's funeral, who passed away twelve days prior.

Sometimes I think we're nothing but transients riding on a caravan in the middle of the night... finding a 'home' to rest and then staying long enough just to pack up and be on our way again... It's like all the years we go through life and in the end, we only come back to where we started. There is no end, only resting places...

Don't be sad. What is life with no death? To return home only to prepare for one's next journey.

--

Currently listening:
佛光山 Buddhist Choir - Amitabha Buddha's Holy Name [Chien Hua]