My grandmother knows best, but these days, she doesn't quite remember much after all these years. She's 97 you see. I'm not sure how I would feel when I do get to be that age. I went back 2 weekends in a row to visit. She's much slower these days and cannot hear so well. Most of the times I just sit next to her, just to be with her. She asked me what day it was, I said loudly in Cantonese, "Twenty-six!" I said it five or six times and she kept repeating "twenty-nine"! She refuses to wear a hearing aid... She doesn't understand technology let alone having something resting inside her ear. Her main activity these days is sweeping the leaves in the shady side yard. She does this 'til she gets very tired and then she would come in and sleep all day. My mother tells her not to over do it because sometimes she would get sick. That afternoon I held her and walked a bit in the back yard so she could get some sun.
My grandmother raised me since birth. At the time, my parents had to work and were always working. She fed me, pampered me, looked after me and guided me every which way. My older sisters were there but often times they were doing something else. Grandmother also tended to my older brother as well, but he was about 6 years older and therefore all the attention was on me. My grandmother was a somewhat feisty, yet strong individual. She had 3 daughters and while my mother was about 6years-old, grandfather passed away. After that, my grandmother had to be strong in order to survive.
She used to take me to the market to get our daily groceries. She would get her basket from top of the fridge and then off we go. She cooked and she cleaned and she tended to almost everything around the house. Before I was born, she even worked and gave the money to my parents. We were quite poor you see, and the money was never enough with 4 children in the house. My grandmother never learned [or had the opportunity] how to read or write, so oftentimes when we go shopping, we would stop by this one guy around the block, whose set up was but a small table and 2 chairs, and had him write letters for her. She recites what she wanted and he writes it all down, for a small fee of course. When we finally moved to the states, I remember getting blank cassette tapes for her to record her 'spoken letters' to send. Always, always to this one friend of hers who was in New York at the time. They lost contact back in the late 80s as I recall. I remember my grandmother telling me her many 'adventures' with her girlfriend. Stories about the war... how one day they were being 'invaded' and the soldiers made her friend kneel on broken glass...
To this day, my grandmother was, and still is, a very strong woman. She was once a young girl with many dreams, she was no different. But these days, seeing her being so fragile breaks my heart. She doesn't even have enough energy to go out anymore, and she gets dizzy riding in the car. She had done so much for me all these years and seems like all I could do now is just sit there... I will never be able to repay her for all the things she did for me!
I love you Ah Pau.
Comments (10)
all we need mostly is the warmth of someone sitting close by
Posted by pod | November 6, 2008 1:18 AM
Posted on November 6, 2008 01:18
hello
i've visited a few times
(via pod)
about time i commented i think....
and this is such a lovely post and picture
and how lovely that you are able to sit with her and hold her
and love her
Posted by lettuce | November 1, 2008 8:23 AM
Posted on November 1, 2008 08:23
How fortunate you are to be able to spend time with your au pau. My yin-yin lived with us when I was younger, what an adventure. She didn't speak English, and I didn't speak Cantonese. However, somehow we could communicate.
Posted by fauxpas | October 31, 2008 7:58 PM
Posted on October 31, 2008 19:58
That was a touching, heartfelt post. A great tribute to a strong woman from the grandson who loves her. Thank you for sharing. This one makes my day!
Posted by Pua | October 31, 2008 8:14 AM
Posted on October 31, 2008 08:14
A very touching story that brings to light much of what the family life was like and what survival meant. She is a VERY strong woman and unfortunately, it sounds like that strength was used for a very long time since the death of your grandfather at what must have been a tender young age. Thank you for sharing! ((((Robert))))
Posted by Steven | October 29, 2008 3:28 PM
Posted on October 29, 2008 15:28
Beautiful.
Posted by Kevin-Andrew | October 29, 2008 12:53 PM
Posted on October 29, 2008 12:53
Hugs
Posted by Steve | October 29, 2008 7:01 AM
Posted on October 29, 2008 07:01
that was lovely; most touching.
thank you for sharing it with us.
Posted by Urspo | October 28, 2008 9:08 PM
Posted on October 28, 2008 21:08
I loved the post and the beloved grandson that fills her heart and I am sure fills her memories. She loved doing those things for the people she loved as we all do. It is great that your culture respects and takes such great care of the young and the old. I know seeing her this way makes you happysad but it is as it should be. Hugs, PJ
Posted by lana | October 28, 2008 8:44 PM
Posted on October 28, 2008 20:44
97! Wow. May we all live so long and so well. And may we all be so well loved.
Wonderful post. Great picture. Thank you.
Posted by Reya Mellicker | October 28, 2008 4:32 PM
Posted on October 28, 2008 16:32