All Things But None

I wanted to write about my folks for a few weeks now, but didn't know when a good time would be. Today is a good day it seems. Everyone is doing well, I don't want it to end... I'm just feeling a little sentimental these past few weeks. I think it started a few weeks ago when my mom called my office. I left a bit early that day. To make a long story short, our team got our notice that morning and it was devastating to some, but I was okay. I knew it coming and was prepared for it since late 2007. So it was really no big deal. I had imagined what/how I would feel about it, and it turned out a lot better than I thought. Sure it'll be tough, but who isn't in on this?! It's the entire nation and I ain't gonna go pity on myself when a whole lot of people are in even more dire situations than me. Anyway, enough about that!

So after we got the news that morning from work, the Managing Director told us that we could leave early, and so we did. My mom NEVER calls me at work. When I got home a bit after 3pm, I was right in the middle of talking to Alec about what had happened that morning, my mom then rang my cell and said she was trying to reach me at work. She said she had called me at my office and couldn't get through for some reason. I said everything was fine and that I couldn't talk since I'm still "at work". I didn't know what else to say and didn't want to tell her I got home early because I'm being let go. We hung up. And Alec asked what my mom wanted, I said I had no idea!

Call it Mother's Intuition or something, I do not know. Alec wanted me to find out what my mom wanted that day, so later on in the evening I called her back. I asked her and she said she just wanted to find out if I was going back home that weekend, but later on she told me that she was simply worried and just wanted to talk to me. I was really touched. I didn't want to tell her the truth and I still haven't. My last day is April 13th and I still have plenty of time. Did she sense something that morning? Alec's mom also called that night because she got the little gift that I sent her. She wanted to say thank you and asked us how we were doing. Coincidence? I'm not sure. But it was good to hear their voices. As always.

I go home every 2 weeks to see my folks and my grandmother. That's only 26 days out of 365. It seems very few. Too few. Every time I go home I also end up with a bunch of food to take home. I give my mom these Tupperware containers for her to store her leftovers and 99% of the time, she gives them right back to me full of food. I don't think she enjoys cooking much, but she loves giving me and providing her children with food to take home... seeing her baby boy gets fed brings her joy. This past weekend she gave me chicken drumsticks and these huge Chinese rice dumplings to take home...

I was telling some friends not too long ago about me focusing on the present. I told them that I used to ponder about the past and the future - to reminisce and to remember, to plan and to have something to look forward to... But these days, I'd rather focus more on the present in which I feel more alive!!! But some days like today, I can't help but to remember the past. How happy and healthy everyone was. How able! I used to dread taking my mom shopping when I was younger... I used to get annoyed with my mom for going through different department stores and her never finding anything she likes. This past weekend I asked her if she wanted to go shopping. She said these days she gotten too old now and she doesn't need to shop for clothing anymore. I felt sad. I felt very sad inside. I had many opportunities before and never truly appreciated the time I had with my mother. Time plays a dirty trick on our parents, and given enough time, it'll happen upon us, too.

Our folks used to be young like us. Able, like us. Free, like us. With many dreams of their own, just like us. When you're a teenager, people say to you that you have a whole life ahead of you. When you're a young adult, you're told that you will have a bright future if you strive hard enough. When you're middle aged, you still have plenty to look forward to. Do we not? But when you're old, what do people say? Secretly, what do you tell yourself?

I didn't mean to write such sappy post today. I'm happy, I'm very much happy, and for one, because I still have my parents around. I only wish I would've appreciated them a whole lot more when I was younger. This photo below was taken about 5 years ago, wishing it was only yesterday. I will go and see them again this Sunday.

I love you mom and dad!

Your son, Bobby.